I Have Found No Use For Home AIs

I ran out to Best Buy yesterday to buy a TV for my office (I’m not a knuckle-dragging primate and therefore do not have a “man cave”.) While I was there, I looked around. I wandered by the AI section and played around with them. I even tried to rationalize buying one. I gave myself permission to do it. And I couldn’t. I walked away, grabbed the 32″ Roku TV I came for, paid, and left.

There are numerous problems with these AIs. For one, the “wiretap” implication:

That isn’t too big a problem. All of our devices are wiretaps, so that isn’t my objection. None of the use cases appeal to me. I watched the Alexa video at the display, and almost dislocated my shoulder from the jerking off motion I wanted to make. There’s some idiot at the top of the stairs about to slide down the stairs onto some pillows and the child actors playing his children. He says “Alexa, play punk music!”

I don’t listen to punk. I can’t stand it. Never could. I also don’t trust Alexa to find songs for my musical tastes, and I use Amazon Music Unlimited.

Then some woman asks it to change the temperature. OK, somewhat useful.

Google Home won’t work with my smart thermostat. Alexa has a skill for it, but I can change it from my phone anyway.

Of course, Alexa is programmed to repeat SJW talking points. I have no use for SJW talking points. And of course, your flash news briefing only comes from left-wing “fake news”. You can’t program it for custom sources, like InfoWars.

Then of course, as a tech enthusiast, I don’t see the point to a fixed location. I carry a phone with me all the time. What if I’m driving home, and want to have Alexa add something to my shopping list? I have to wait until I get home. (I don’t think there’s an Alexa app for Android, and I don’t care enough to look it up.) I have Alexa on my Kindle Fire, and I never use it (Alexa, not the Fire.)

So, even though I gave myself all the leeway possible, I don’t see myself owning one of these wiretaps anytime soon.

I would totally buy this thing if it existed: